We meet lots of brides and grooms every day that are planning their wedding- the details, the guest lists, the menu, the flowers- every detail imaginable that is particular to that one special day when you become husband and wife. It is exhilarating, this planning process, and it can be fun and at some points stressful, but nonetheless, an exciting time. If you have followed this series, you will know that I always say that while planning your wedding is important, it’s more important to plan for your marriage. So with that, I came across this ”guide to love” that I thought I would share with all of our brides and grooms out there planning for their wedding day, the day that will lead you into a lifetime of love with each other.
What is love? Love can be defined as both an action and a feeling. The action of love generates a blissful feeling called by the same name. When the action stops, the blissful feeling is replaced with pain. There is a similar feeling called lust which may be confused with love. You need to decipher between the two in order to have a healthy heart. Every person is capable of great love (and its opposite, fear, which generates all painful emotions such as hate, greed and jealousy).
While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (or even yourself), the simple foundation of love is this:
Say it. When you say the words “I Love You”, they should carry with them the desire to show someone that you love them, not what you simply want to feel. When you say it, make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.
Empathize. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, really do understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are. Realize how they could also love you back just as well.
Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.
Expect nothing in return. That doesn’t mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for the sake of love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.
Never stop loving. Even if you have been hurt before you should not stop giving love.
So, to all of our beautiful brides and grooms: start and end your day with unconditional, unexpected, empathetic love that you want to shout from the rooftops! Share that love on your wedding day with your families and friends and let that love guide you through your lifetime with each other.